Types title and waits for coffee to kick in…
It’s 8:12am and I’ve been up since 6am. After a sequence of gray May starts to the day, this morning is clear and sunny.
I am relieved.
If you are new to me, my website, the REFLECTIONS section that is really my blog, Welcome. I am going through a big transition and this is one of the many ways I am choosing to cope (through writing every day for 30 days and sharing it with the world).
The majority of what I’ve written so far says little, at least it feels like it says very little. I am not going very deep or bringing my humor, plunging into vulnerable depths (Mother’s Day post aside) or trying to shape my posts in a particular direction. I’ve written uninhibited, unimpeded, uncensored posts, political rants and brazen shares over the years, both on facebook and my old Lindspiration blog.
I am not there today.
I am in a different place.
It is a different world.
We have migrated to social media, colonizing the online space by hoisting our flags of who we are what we look like and what we say, beliefs, thoughts, feels, brands, social connections and games.
And the more it grows, the more it expands, the more we migrate from here to there and live from our apps, inside a funhouse of filtered reflections, and direct our point of focus outside ourselves in the interest of sharing, the more I want to retreat.
Have I mentioned the birds and the orange tree in my backyard?
None of which takes away from the glorious things happening online - like STAYING IN TOUCH with east coast friends and family, expression, creativity, empowerment, education, laughs, community building, resistance, entrepreneurship, art!
It’s all there, too.
So we’ve got both sides to appreciate and embrace. Perfect as we enter Gemini season tomorrow (5/21).
I think I am grieving. In a way, it feels like I pulled the plug on my New York life and am left to watch it wither against the backdrop of a city coming alive in Spring.
This, while I watch my LA life bloom and feel the joy, expansion, love and promise of the new seeds I am planting.
The life I am creating.
I am loving LA, which is exactly what most people ask me, “Are you loving LA?”
I am. It is not perfect — there is some weird shit going on here that I will write about a a later date — but overall, it’s a good and welcome change.
What I asked for and wanted are coming to fruition. Abundance.
I am still spending a good deal of time alone, though, and must keep an eye on this — the other side of solitude is loneliness, which is OK (like most things) in moderation but not excess.
Also my health. I was sick for over two weeks and still have lingering congestion affecting my voice.
Today I am not racing towards. I am not running from. I am sitting here with sounds in my hears and words at my fingertips. Visuals for my eyes that still feel tired. All to practice being gratefully alive in my own skin.