One of the biggest gift of my life is that I have a relationship with a Higher Power (HP).
This means that on a daily basis I make conscious contact with HP, letting go of things I can’t control and trusting this Energy to give me strength, insight, wisdom, intuitive hunches, freedom, guidance, support and SO many other gifts.
I wasn’t always this way. I had Spiritual experiences as a child and then a teen, but the most profound spiritual experience happened through my recovery from an eating disorder.
So while having an eating disorder throughout most of my 20s and part of my 30s is not what I would’ve chosen for my life, the fact that it lead me to such a deep connection with HP makes me feel grateful for who I became as a result.
I am proud of who I am today and how I am showing up for myself and for others. I feel grateful that in a world where there is SO MUCH FOCUS ON APPEARANCES, I am tapped into the well beneath the surface.
I believe that the strength to make certain choices comes directly from my HP. For example, last week I could’ve slept with somebody that I used to know (in NY, for a decade) when he was in town last week and chose not to, which was huge for me and a major win.
I could not have done that without HP.
I am making certain choices and moves in my career while experience breakthroughs that feel guided by an invisible hand. I follow certain leads and say Yes or No. I am no longer afraid of Big Asks. I no longer question what I’m worth or spend energy getting pissed off at people who fail to see me for who I am.
I am completely behind myself and my talents.
And I could not have done that without HP.
The synchronicities and alignment that I’ve experienced since moving to LA six weeks ago are completely Higher Powered. I do believe in manifesting and being a co-creator with HP, but I always defer to HP as the final stamp of approval on anything I ask for and work towards.
Most importantly, HP is where I go to express my gratitude and while I have gotten a little away from that mission critical mindset over the last week or so, I woke up today with a surge of it, so much so that all I wanted to do was ride the Thank You wave.
There is a lot to consider now when it comes to mental health. When I write and share and post on social, part of it is to give you a leg up, because trust me, life keeps lifing and you’re going to need to — want to — HAVE TO be strong. I turn 42 in exactly a week and to say I have proven my resilience would be an understatement. After surviving eating disorders, orthopedic surgeries + rehabs, four decades of the single life, a biological clock with an alarm clock not just ticking but like, in full out gong mode (do you hear it?), financial ups and downs, family drama, loss of life, and a career trajectory that while exciting and very fulfilling creatively, has required enormous sacrifice and challenges over the years, what am I most grateful for today is my strength. My ability to keep asking, learning, humbling myself and growing. The hardest experiences that taught me who I am MADE ME who I am, and when I really pause to reflect on my power to rise and rise again, to keep going and live in joy, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.